Cooking Time!

A few weeks ago, when Adam was away at a men's retreat with our church, I had a friend come over and we did some serious cooking that afternoon.  The goal was to give her a few tips on cooking, but we had a lot of fun.

I have been obsessed with The Pioneer Woman  for quite sometime now and make her recipes often. I have never been disappointed. It's really great because she posts pictures of all the steps so you know what you are getting into before you attempt it.  The two recipes below are from her site.  The chicken was a guest chef and the pasta is her recipe.

Sabrina and I made an Herb Roasted Chicken. Here's the little guy before he went into the oven!

And here is the chicken after it has been cooked--- oh my gosh was it delicious. Similiar to those grocery store rotisserie chickens, but better flavor and it wasn't sitting under a heat lamp all day.

 Then we made Pasta ai Quattro Formaggi. Basically a four cheese pasta. You can really use whatever cheese you want. We used, Romano, parmesan, asiago, and goat cheese. The goat cheese makes it nice and creamy (well that and the whole cream you put in!). It was delish!

We also steamed up some fresh brocolli, but I didn't get a picture of that!! 

What have you cooked lately that you absolutely love??? 

Rickett's Glen State Park

On memorial day, we went to Rickett's Glen State Park .  It was a spontaneous last minute trip, that ended up being so much fun.  We went with two other couples one with their fun kiddos!  Rickett's Glen is known for it's 21 Waterfalls. It's basically uphill the whole way, and BONUS at the top there is a beach!  We at dinner at the beach. It was a wonderful day just to enjoy God's amazing creation and community.

Here are some pics:

 Adam taking a picture of the crew:

Taking a break looking at one of the beautiful Waterfalls.

Adam and I  . . . I guess I am gazing into his eyes! :)

Beautiful!

This was a Waterfall that you could stand behind and see the water fall like a sheet of water. So amazing.

A Sin that We all Too often Embrace

I thought I'd write today about something pretty close to my heart. Something that I think can be a sin struggle for a lot of Christians if not all at sometime or another. I have certainly wrestled with it.  It is a sin that can even look "Godly" on the outside.  The church often embraces it.  Others might even encourage it at times. However, this is an ugly and messy sin, and it can keep us from fully devoting our lives to pleasing God.  

What is this sin you ask? !!!!

People Pleasing. When we worry about what others will think, what others will say, or how we will be perceived more than we are concerned about what God thinks then we have created an idol out of people.   Galatians  1:10 says,  "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." (ESV)  When we aim is to please anyone other than God alone, we will fail. Not only will we fail, but he is our MASTER, and when we meet Him one day it will matter. Colossians 3:23-24, "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ."

Maybe your thinking, "But come on, practically speaking, I have to do this or that for this person . . . people do have expectations?" How does this really play out? Hear this, "Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free. Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him." Ephesians 6:5-9 (ESV) God wants us to work at all times and in all situations that we are serving him even when others are involved.  Not only that, His expectations, yes His expectations are the ONLY expectations, again THE only expectations that truly count.  

Why does it matter for the church as a whole?  If we spend time pleasing one another in the church and doing only what makes one another happy, God would not be honored. God says, in Colossians 3:23,  "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,."  When we live for him, and not for ourselves, we can truly get after the work of the Lord.  

Anyone else struggle with this? Any thoughts?

Completion of AIM Number 2

I've been busy and with the happy addition of spring weather to my life I have spend a lot more time outside than  inside. I've read less and walked more. I've typed less and thought more.  You win some and lose some. That's life and balance is my friend.

I wanted to update the blogosphere that I am happy to announce that I have successfully completed AIM number 2 for the Year. What you don't remember my list of AIM's for the year, how dare you, well I got a job, it's been about a month and a half now, but I am counseling at the Susquehanna Valley Center of Hope.  

Here's a snapshot. We are a non-profit Christian Counseling organization offering outpatient services for children, adolescents, adults, and their families.  Services are provided for residents of the Susquehanna Valley.  We strive to provide individuals and their families with the skills and resources needed to live healthy, fulfilling lives within their families and communities. 

Here's more of what I love about the Center, our desire it to first push people to Christ and see the Gospel and crucial.  Second, we are striving to help individuals find local community and others to that they can live their lives with.

Here's my work e-mail kscheideggeer@svcoh.org  should you know of someone that needs to set up an appointment.

What's the What? Essentials of a Good Boundary Laden Conversation

Time to dig in hang tight we are going to cover a lot of ground today. We will cover chapters 3-14 Boundaries Face to Face today. This is the practical stuff—the to do’s of the conversation.

1. Be fully there: don’t just show up to the conversation, be emotionally present, knowing your own feelings, seeking to get in touch with the feelings of the other party. Be warm and available, remembering to listen and not lecture. Yes, even when you disagree.

2. Be clear about “You” and “I”: It’s crucial to remember that there are 2 sides people involved in a conversation. When you express something, say “I” . . . blah blah blah. . . instead of “You” . . . blah blah blah. . . because you can only speak for yourself. As much as you may think you know what the other person is thinking, you do not. Be sympathetic to the person and try and put yourself in their shoes as to what it would feel like to be confronted--- that is be humble, Psalms 18:27.

3. Clarity, Clarity, and Clarity: Be extremely clear about the problem, don't lose focus and go over offense after offense. It can be tempting, but it really doesn’t do anybody any good. The 3 Parts of Stating the Problem: 1. Clarify the problem; 2. clarify the effects of the problem 3. Clarify your desire for change

4. GRACE and truth: You will want to balance both grace and truth when approaching someone, but always lean on the side of grace if you are in question. Grace demonstrates that you are for the person and truth helps the person see the reality of the situation so that they can change.

5. Stay on task: Don’t surprised or upset by defensiveness or deflections. Accept these patterns as a part of the person until they decide to change. When you are ready for; you can more readily deal with it. Try listening, empathizing, and offering to look at your part in the matter – then say that you would like to get back to the matter at hand. At a later time you can inquire – not blame—the person about their defensiveness.

6. "When you do "A", I feel "B": Letting the other person know how you feel builds the relationship, “Love one another deeply, from the heart.” 1 Peter 1:22. Share statements in “When you do “A”, I feel “B” form is a healthy way of communicating. Your part is it know what you feel, stick to your own experience, and to avoid saying “You make me feel”.

7. You can’t affirm and validate enough: Affirmation and validation is just a happy idea it is the responsibility of the confronter to affirm and validate so that the people you confront know that they are valued. In a good confrontation we are turning our face toward something together; to let the other person know that you are on the same side, looking at the issue as allies and not enemies. Let him know that the negative is not all there is nor is it the biggest thing. The relationship is the most important.

8. Own your part and apologize: Matthew 7:3-5, Remove the plank out of your own eye first. When we want to talk to someone about an issue it can often be so difficult b/c we are feeling hurt, we have to be willing to do the work to see what is going on inside of us first. An important principle to remember is this, when confronting, do not do id from a deficit balance. In other words, don’t confront if you owe an apology first.

9. Avoid "shoulds": When should is said in it’s purest form it isnt’ a bad thing, but the word can be used to show shame or control. Ex. “You should have made reservations.” “You should have thought about this.” These statements induce guilt, shame, and anger. Good relationships preserve someone’s dignity, choice, freedom and equality as a person.

10. Be an agent for change: In the conversation take the position that you have an attitude to help, to be an ally, and agent of change. Help the other person to the best of your ability. Romans 12:21 says, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” Even when bad things have happened, the confronter tries to make the situation one in which good things can happen for the person and for the relationship.

11. Specificity always helps: Ask for exactly what you need in the relationship. Ex. A woman asking for more connection from her husband should ask for a few specific ways that her husband could connect with her, not just connection.

12. Forgiveness, Reconciliation, Trust: Let’s just define em’. Forgiveness has to do with the past. Forgiveness means that you do not hold something against someone that they have done. It is letting it go and it only takes one to offer forgiveness (Matt 6:12, 18:35). Reconcilation has to do with the present and it happens when the other person apologizes and accepts forgiveness. It takes two to reconcile. Finally trust has to do with the future. It pertains to what you risk happening again and what you will open yourself up to. A person must show he is trustworthy before you trust him again, Matt 3:8, Prov. 4:23.

Taken from, Boundaries Face to Face: How to Have that Difficult Conversation You’ve Been Avoiding. By Henry Cloud and John Townsend.

Preserving Love

Time for a little more from, "Boundaries Face to Face"

So you ask why in the world would I want to confront someone on something? Maybe from your perspective things are working fairly well in the relationship and you have decided that you can just live with things the way they are. I have been there and had those exact same thoughts, but then through either my confrontation or through someone else confronting me- I have been greatly blessed as has the other person.

Let me introduce you to a concept: PRESERVING LOVE. When we confront someone we are actually doing what the term confrontation means in Latin which is to, "turn your face toward, to look at frontally." In other words in a confrontation you are turing to the the person and dealing with a part of the relationship that needs to be addressed because you are for the relationship and for the person. A confrontation works best when it serves and is driven by LOVE?

"Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but and enemy multiplies kisses." proverbs 26:7

Taken from Chapter 2 of Cloud and Townsend's, "Boundaries Face to Face"

First Boundary Book Review

What is a boundary?

A boundary is a personal property line, it defines who you are, where you end, and where others begin.

Boundaries help us set clarity in our relationships with other people- in the way that Jesus taught in Matthew 5:37, "Let your yes be yes and your no be no." Without boundaries we can tend to be controlled by the demands of others because they feel unsure of themselves when they need to make a stand.

This particular book deals with how to have set boundaries through having a conversation.

Sometimes people don't want to have that difficult conversation. There are four main reasons why, which one best describes you?

1. You fear losing the relationship
2. You fear being the object of anger - with the person you are conversing with
3. You fear being hurtful to the receiver
4. You fear being perceived as "bad"

Are you going to let these fears keep you from having the necessary talks that might actually allow you to solve some problems?

All this from chapter one of Boundaries Face to Face, stay tuned for so much more.